This article includes information on critical conversations to help you manage caring options with family and work.
Managing your caring options with family and work can be a challenge. The key to making this work is about having realistic expectations of yourself and others.
A flexible mindset and good communication with all involved in caring for your child/ren, will allow you to adapt to the changing care needs of your family.
Critical conversations
With yourself
Regularly ask yourself how your child care arrangement is working? What is going well? What do you need to change?
Another important thing to ask is ‘what are my priorities?’ – identify both the critical things that must happen and those that are not critical.
Parents can be very hard on themselves at times and try to do everything. It's good to accept that sometimes you can't do it all, so if your home is not as tidy as you would like it to be, but you are getting everyone to child care and yourself to work then you are doing well.
It's important to address patterns that are not supportive for you or your family’s wellbeing. For example, if every morning you are rushing your child and you out of the door in a stressful state, consider what needs to be tweaked in your routine. Would getting up half an hour earlier help? What other areas of lifestyle would be supportive to change?
With your partner and extended family
Moving from being a working couple to a family with caring responsibilities can be quite a change and this continues to evolve as caring responsibilities change. It is key that you have conversations with your partner about this and how collectively you will manage your family and caring responsibilities.
Some considerations for you in thinking through the support your partner can provide include:
- Does your partner have flexibility with their job?
- Are they able to take parental leave to support your return to work?
- Are they able to start late a couple of mornings a week so they can cover childcare?
Encourage your partner to speak to their manager or HR team to find out what is available to them.
It is important to have a conversation with your partner in identifying all the family responsibilities, such as childcare drop off/ hand over and pick up; household chores; preparing meals; laundry; grocery shopping; etc. and figuring out how you can make this work collectively.
Also consider if there is anything that you can outsource that would save you time and energy. This may include:
- Reviewing who does the cleaning and other household chores and seeing if it is feasible to outsource some chores.
- Online grocery shopping.
- Shared care options with local friends to help swap, divide and share certain parts of your child care routine.
All family units operate differently, and it is about finding what works for you as a family and also keeping those conversations going as care needs change.
With work
If you are returning to work or have already returned to work, it is key to have a conversation with your manager or HR team about your hours of work and caring commitments. Be clear on some of the absolutes that you now may have, such as days of work and leaving by a certain time to collect your child/children.
In conversations with work, focus on what you can do, not what you can’t.
With support networks
It's important to create a support network for you to accept help from. This could be family, friends and neighbours and also people at work too. Where possible, find other parents at your workplace who may be able to support you from a work perspective.
Check if there is a Parent or Carer Employee Resource Group within your organisation to provide peer to peer support, if not think about setting one up yourself. There are also online communities for working parents which can be a great source for finding what you need to get more support, to share (funny or frustrating) working parent stories or simply to ask those questions you may not feel comfortable asking elsewhere.