This article is essential reading on getting organised for and starting new care arrangements, having a backup plan, plus tips for drop off and dealing with child separation.
An important consideration is to transition your child to care gradually in the lead up to your return to work. If possible start with less days or shorter hours and start a few weeks in advance of your return to work. This will allow you to trial the actual care and get into a routine.
A trial period will allow you the space to get used to the logistics of what is needed. ie.: what time you need to leave the house, what to pack, traffic etc. It will also give everyone a chance to get used to the new arrangement.
Children often get sick when they first start childcare so allowing a couple of weeks to transition or having someone on standby to help with care is wise.
Childcare back up plan
It is important to have a back-up plan – what happens if your child is sick? Is there someone else that could care for them at short notice? Have a conversation with your partner or family and decide on how you will approach this together if your child is sick.
Having a back-up plan will minimise stress for both you and your child.
Getting organised
Think about what would help everyone in being organised for the week at home. For example:
- Prepare meals for the week over the weekend.
- Have a meal plan to aid with shopping and preparation.
- Getting clothes/lunchboxes ready the night before.
- Having a weekly timetable on the fridge.
- Make time for a weekly family meeting to ensure all carers are clear on what they need to support with.
Tips for drop off
The first few times you leave your child in a new childcare situation it may be emotionally charged for both of you. Rest assured, your child will cope better than you, and will be off playing within minutes of you leaving. Here are a few tips to help you and your child through the separation phase:
- Try to spend some time at the centre or with the carer in advance of the first transition day. If you have a nanny starting have them work a few hours and days while you are at home. This is a good initiation and training period for you, the nanny and your child.
- Spend time finding out about the routine that will be followed so that you can talk about it with the child if they are old enough.
- Be positive, talk positive and act positive when speaking about a new care arrangement. Your child needs to feel you are settled with what’s about to happen.
- Make a big deal out of getting a new bag or hat, ‘especially for pre-school’.
- Be honest with your child and try to answer their questions about where you will be while they are at care or pre-school.
- Make sure that all of your child’s things are labelled clearly and that they are aware of what belongs to them. Send a plastic bag along for any soiled clothes.
- Don’t send a special toy to day care or pre-school unless this is ok with the carer as these special toys can create problems between the children and often get lost or damaged.
- Make sure that you pack a full set of clothes (or two) into the bag – accidents will invariably happen.
- Give yourself and your child plenty of time to get ready in the morning. This may mean getting up earlier than you are both used to however it will ensure neither of you feel rushed.
- Try to make the initial visits reasonably short, e.g. a couple of hours.
- Use a positive phrase such as “I’m going to work now, have a great day. . . I’ll be back soon.”
- Don’t be at all surprised if you cry, it’s normal. Remember that being out in the world with other carers and children is a great learning experience for your child.
- Give your child some time to settle in and make a quick phone call to the centre/ carer if you feel it will put your mind at ease.
Dealing with child separation
The transition to a new carer can be one of the most challenging and anxious experiences for parents and children alike, so here are some things you can do to prepare yourself and your family.
- Consider your child care needs and options well ahead of time and get creative – the best kind of care arrangement for both you and your family may be a combination of two or more care arrangements.
- Before you return to work, consider leaving your child(ren) for some time with your selected carer or child care centre so both you and your child feel ok about being away from one another.
- Build a rapport and relationship with your child(ren)’s carer. Discuss your child(ren)’s needs, likes and dislikes and any concerns you may have upfront.
- Ensure there are clear guidelines about behaviour and your expectations (i.e.: house rules). Having everything transparent at the beginning helps with the transition.
- Draft a daily care plan so the selected carer can follow on from what you were doing with minimal disruption (i.e. sleep times, snack / feed times, outing times etc.).
- You may choose to introduce or continue using a comfort object (a blanket, a stuffed toy, something of yours) that your child(ren) connects to home and you.
- Develop routines (special things to do) for the morning for when you part and in the evenings for when you get back together.